Look I've told you, madam. No pets allowed. I don't care if it's your husband. The snooker ball and fox tail will make the other punters uneasy. Chain him to the lamp post and we will consider letting you in. Some people...Oh sorry, audience.



With us again, I see? Nice.. that's nice. Well to reward your loyalty we have a great show for you lined up this evening. Wanna hear about the strangest sex records in the world? Of course you do. Curious as to how to discover yourself in Iceland? We got it. What about a slice of Hitler street wear to be more hipster than hipster? Of course you f*cking do! All that with a blast of meerkats gone wild, a pinch of snakes for d*cks and an invitation to the mutant minibus! But just remember... Bolatov sees all!



Please note tonight’s show could be considered highly offensive so if

you can’t handle your sick funnies then please return your free

admission ticket to the box office where you will receive a pinch of the

cheek, a ruffle of the hair and a warm bottle for your travels home. I

mean lets be honest, you would have to be a Daily Mail reader to think

the s**t we say is actually our opinions. Just jokes, folks!